Heart of hickory

Although most boys figure out how to bring themselves to orgasm by age thirteen, half of girls do not have their first orgasms until their late teens, twenties, or beyond. Teenage girls widely agree that they get the message loud and clear that masturbation is something boys do, but girls do not, cannot, or should not. The cultural focus on intercourse tells young women to expect they will begin to experience sexual pleasure once they have sex with a man (whether or not they are even interested in sex with men). Nearly all teen boys, on the other hand, experience sexual pleasure long before they get their hands—or other body parts—into a partner’s pants. Despite the massive advances in women’s equality, young women’s sexuality is stuck in a surprising paradox. Young women are sold provocative clothes but are not taught where to find their own clitoris. Many girls give their boyfriends oral sex, but are too uncomfortable with their own bodies to allow the guys to return the favor. It is still a radical act to say that women need and deserve access to information about their own sexual pleasure—not just about the risks and negative consequences of sex.